Thoughts

I just love being a mom lately. Li-Li in a matter of 24 hours mastered sitting up, figured out if he holds his head up when moving around the floor is more efficient and how to pull himself up onto things. My personal favorite is when I am sitting on the couch and he crawls over pulls himself up gives me his big ol' toothless grin. His Dr. also told him to stop moving around so much at 6 months he needs sto not worry about being so busy and maybe he would put on a little weight. ya my poor boy is not even on the chart for weight, but he is gaining which is more than we could say for Miss A.

My originals are all out of school now and loving the summer. Their mom has been MIA for almost a month now and the difference in the kids when they come home from visitation is amazing. Yes the originals mom is alive, she just won't tell anyone where she is and only calls the kids to complain that Mr. J or I once again tried to poison her or have stolen something from her. PSYCHO!!!

Mr. J and I have been house hunting and found one right around the corner from our current residence. 5 bed 2 bath, .24 acre. Backyard is already fenced in and even though it is a home we will need to touch up we can move in and be comfortable right off the bat. Also we get the joy of buying a home and making it ours while the kids enjoy playing in the backyard. The best part is there is even room for a little veggie garden :) please cross your fingers say some prayers that everything passes inspection, the current owners are not jerks and we can move in as planned.

12:30 AM

Just finished watching Eat Pray Love. All I can say is I wish I was wealthy enough to take a year off of life and live in exotic places while I try to "find myself". After the movie ended I realized that I promised C that I would do his laundry for him while he was at school today and instead A and Dash and I went a saw Grandma and Grandpa instead. A loved it! I think G-ma & G-pa did too. So here I sit listening to Dash cry himself to sleep because I refuse to let him use me as a paci rather than just a food source because well I need my body to be mine sometimes too.

The Stepies came home last night from being at Psychos for the past week and Miss A went running to them and yelled out B's name. YES SHE DOES TALK! B instantly told me how he told Psycho that she is mental. Pretty funny how a 9 year old can even see that his mother has a problem and is not afraid to to say it to her face. The best part is all I ever say to him is "your mom has some problems but she loves you in her own way. You need to understand that it will be hard but it is okay." They also know that I do not like her at all, but only because of how she treats her kids and ended the marriage to their father.

So right now I do laundry as Dash is crying in his bed. Earlier it was Miss A refusing to stay upstairs and in her bed. Well I won part of that battle. She stayed upstairs but in my bed with the understanding that when she falls asleep she will be moved into her own bed. Ya, like a 21 month old understands that compromise. So at about 4 in the morning I will wake up to a crying Miss A and take her into bed with me because I am to tired and lazy to calm her down and put her back into her own bed.

This mom thing sucks. Well not always but at 1 AM with a crying child, a mountain of laundry and knowing that another child is going to be waking up in just a few hours needing that extra love that I am just too tired to even try and comfort then put her back into bed. Right now being a mom is just not the glamorous lifestyle I dreamed of it being as a naive teen listening to my young woman teachers say that parenting is the greatest joy they have ever had and it is a divine roll given to us by our HF. Only thing that could make this even better is to add a sick child to the mix... (knock on wood)

The neighbourhood hang out

My home has become the neighbourhood hang out for all of the kids. I think this has happened for a couple of different reason. 1) I have the most kids in the complex so it is easier to just have other kids over here then send all of my kids over to another house and have then destroy that home too. 2) Half of the kids live with single mothers and Jason has become the "dad" to most of them and even call him dad at times too. 3) I have a big fat "I don't care" tattoo on my face so the kids get away with almost anything. (no illegal or dangerous activity better be going on in my home and if I find out it happens you are done.)

So as such of a result of such reasons my home has also become the place where working mothers send their kids after school to make sure that homework gets done and a snack is served and the child is kept safe (LOL safe in my house, that is so funny). Well I really wish that I was not such a nice person and said "Um, you realize that I only have my kids Monday, Thursday and every other Friday? Meaning I really would rather not be watching your kids for free on the days when my kids are not here because I do enjoy the peace and quiet too." I also have this problem with the fact that in a few weeks there will be this new creature living in our home called a baby. It would be nice if I did not have my house filled with germs while my little one is still so little. How do I nicely tell my neighbours "go find another schmuck to dump your kids on"?

Is there a tattoo on my forhead?

This morning I woke up and was actually out of bed before 9. It was actually just after 8 when the kids are taking off for school. M & B were gone already going around the neighborhood collecting the kids to walk to school together. C was sitting at the kitchen table about to pour milk into his cereal bowl. Luckily I was able to have him stop because his wonderful sister who's one and only household chore is the dishes has not done them in 3 days and the dishwasher is even loaded all she had to do was turn it on!

I then went to turn on the TV for C & A and the TV was on a different channel than what it was when I turned it off. We have a rule in our home of no TV before school. They can read, do homework, heaven forbid catch up on their chores. But no!

Also now that M is 12 The Husband decided that it was time for a cell phone... again. Two rules 1) always have it with you 2) always have it turned on. Well rule 1 is followed pretty well rule 2 hardly happens. I am so tired of the disrespect M has for her father. She sits there and asks for responsibility but once given hardly ever follows through.

I love these kids but man it makes life really hard when I want to do nice things for them and they turn around and break rule after rule.

Just thoughts

So as a family we went to Disneyland for Halloween Time. B's birthday is today so we got him a pin that says it's his birthday and he wore it every day. M for her birthday present and because she knew we were planning this family trip decided to wait to recieve her present from me and The Husband until she got to Disneyland and had a studio 365 make over. Man was she cute! Unfortunatly they also gave her a birthday pin and it totally took away from B's Thunder. The next day both kids wore their birthday pins and everyone said Happy birthday to M but nothing to B. M was also asked to lead the disneyland Big Band with Mickey and was able to take special pictures with him and everything. B sat quietly in the background doing nothing as his sister once again took the thunder from his birthday. Later that day I made The Husband take the kids to Jedi training where they select children fromt he audience to go to jedi training school and the kids get to fight Lord Vader or Darth Mal. B was chosen from the audience and went through the training and got a diploma and everything. But for some reason I was not happy enough with that. After training was over I took him over to a little stand and bought him a new light saber. He freaked out over this becasue he was not expecting it at all and I got him the one that make noises and everything. We aslo went and looked at the pictures and I let him pick out one for his room. Made his day! So after 2 days of sharing the light with M I was able to turn a whole day into just him and his special birthday. The crazy part about all of this is that you could see it on his face that he was sad but he always got excited for M when she talked about her makeover or her leading the band. Not once did he let her know he was sad that he was having to share. That little boy is such an example. He is truly a free spirit that loves everyone and does not understand why people hurt each other. I love how he plays with A an is such a big brother to her and always wants to teach her things and play games with her.

Dear Abby

Dear A,



I am so lucky to be your mother. Every day you surprise me with something new you have learned. You are catching on to sign language like the words eat, more and please. You help me with the laundry by pushing the buttons and you are so good at helping me fold the laundry and listening to my "no-no" when you start to unfold the laundry. It cracks me up when you insist on sitting on the potty before our morning shower. You will hide things behind your back to try and sneak them out of the room. You independence inspires me, but your need for morning snuggles melts my heart. I love how every time I ask you what sound an animal makes it is always "rawr". Right now you are learning to put on your own shoes and feed yourself with a spoon and fork. You love to feed the rats in the morning with me and feed them at night with daddy. You know the names of each rat and will point to them as we ask you which one is which. Miss A, you are such a tease! You love to hide in the bathroom cupboards and play with mommy's makeup. We brush our hair and our teeth together in the mornings. At night daddy has to tuck you in or you have a fit. You laugh when Daddy and I call you CorLyn and come running. You love to tackle Daddy and have tickle wars. Lately you have been obsessed with blowing your nose and will bring someone a roll or toilet paper to give her some. You think you are one of the big kids and are outside keeping up with them every step of the way. You love everyone you meet and every person always says you have touched them in such a special way.



In a couple of weeks the scariest thing that I have ever had to deal with we are going to go through together. You have a cyst on your face and it has been growing so much that the doctors have recommended to have it removed. So you will be having surgery, but Dr. Morales has been recommended by another plastic surgeon who was our home teacher in our old ward. It is a simple procedure but at the same time it is surgery and it scares me. You have become my everything. I have loved spending every day with you since June and seeing you grow and become your own person. You are an amazing daughter, a delightful little sister and I know that when you baby brother is born you are going to be an awesome example to him.



Love you to the moon and back,

your Mommy

Being Sick

So the past couple of days I have felt kinda dizzy and not really up to doing anything. I just told myself that it's because of this new diet I am on and I am detoxing from soda and my body is flushing out all of the bad things. Well today at work I was especially dizzy and by the time lunch rolled around I figured I should eat something to help with this spinning head thing. About 20 min after lunch I got sick and when you get sick you leave work. I really hope that I don't have what C had last weekend. that would just be miserable and knowing we are leaving tomorrow for California makes me even more not want to have whatever it is that is making the world turn around me and my tummy do flip flops.