12:30 AM

Just finished watching Eat Pray Love. All I can say is I wish I was wealthy enough to take a year off of life and live in exotic places while I try to "find myself". After the movie ended I realized that I promised C that I would do his laundry for him while he was at school today and instead A and Dash and I went a saw Grandma and Grandpa instead. A loved it! I think G-ma & G-pa did too. So here I sit listening to Dash cry himself to sleep because I refuse to let him use me as a paci rather than just a food source because well I need my body to be mine sometimes too.

The Stepies came home last night from being at Psychos for the past week and Miss A went running to them and yelled out B's name. YES SHE DOES TALK! B instantly told me how he told Psycho that she is mental. Pretty funny how a 9 year old can even see that his mother has a problem and is not afraid to to say it to her face. The best part is all I ever say to him is "your mom has some problems but she loves you in her own way. You need to understand that it will be hard but it is okay." They also know that I do not like her at all, but only because of how she treats her kids and ended the marriage to their father.

So right now I do laundry as Dash is crying in his bed. Earlier it was Miss A refusing to stay upstairs and in her bed. Well I won part of that battle. She stayed upstairs but in my bed with the understanding that when she falls asleep she will be moved into her own bed. Ya, like a 21 month old understands that compromise. So at about 4 in the morning I will wake up to a crying Miss A and take her into bed with me because I am to tired and lazy to calm her down and put her back into her own bed.

This mom thing sucks. Well not always but at 1 AM with a crying child, a mountain of laundry and knowing that another child is going to be waking up in just a few hours needing that extra love that I am just too tired to even try and comfort then put her back into bed. Right now being a mom is just not the glamorous lifestyle I dreamed of it being as a naive teen listening to my young woman teachers say that parenting is the greatest joy they have ever had and it is a divine roll given to us by our HF. Only thing that could make this even better is to add a sick child to the mix... (knock on wood)